


Smoke and Fire

by SerenaCypher



Series: Elemental [2]
Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Illustrations, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Psychological Trauma, fire as a theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29620773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaCypher/pseuds/SerenaCypher
Summary: Fire burned him. His body, his heart, his very soul. It wouldn't stop burning until everything was consumed around him, and for once in his life, it didn't seem to bother him.
Relationships: Alejandro Burromuerto & Noah, Alejandro Burromuerto/Noah
Series: Elemental [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176359
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Smoke and Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Dark Waters, continuing to work through my own feelings using Total Drama characters and practicing my art along with my writing. This has been a fun series to write so far and I've got yet another sequel in the works! Please leave a comment or a kudos if you are enjoying this series!

Fire.

That’s all he felt.

Heat surrounding him, choking his lungs with thick black smoke. His hair, his beautiful brown locks that he took precious care of, went up like kindling. His skin cracked and boiled as he felt the liquid rock brush past him, burning everything in it’s path. His broken bones jolting to life, desperate to move, to escape this certain death, but unable to realign his shattered body. His muscles ached, feeling the slowly melting skin give away to char the meat and bone underneath. He felt the retching bile winding in his throat, only able to let out a gurgling scream as he felt the fire fully consume him.

Alejandro shot straight out of bed, breathing heavily. He panted as he fell back into sweat-drenched sheets, covering his face with a smooth hand. ‘Smooth. How unlikely.’ He thought, recalling his near fatal ordeal. ‘I should have died, I was so close…’ He shook the thoughts away, willing his head to clear the nightmare from his mind.

He was in ‘Playa Des Losers’, unfortunately coming out of the latest season of Total Drama at 5th place. An unfortunate loss, while being teamed up on by Sierra and Gwen’s unlikely alliance had knocked him out of the game. He still managed to outlast Heather, which he took as a happy victory.

He probably wouldn’t have made it so far if not for Noah’s intervention during his forth night on the island. An unexpected occurrence, though the shorter teen had been kind and given him a needed boost of assurance and confidence. And while he was still adamant that he hadn’t planned on going all the way, he was still at a fairly low point mentally and emotionally.

This unplanned rescue had developed their relationship into a pseudo-friendship, where he was much nicer to Noah and vise-versa. Nothing substantial and they really hadn’t let out their feelings again after that, but it was a quiet appreciation for the kindness. He wasn’t one to push away a potential ally, and he knew trying to manipulate him was futile, so simple friendliness was all he could really offer at the moment.

The ordeal had changed his entire approach to the season. Instead of his usual manipulations and relationship sabotages, he had gone for a slightly more pleasant route. He wound up helping his teammates a bit more, making the decision to just coast this season and not really fight for the top. Most took it as a new attempt at buttering them up, but a few believed his intentions benevolent. He ended the season with a slightly better reputation, a few new casual friendships and less stress on his mind. Taking a season long break had been what he needed it turned out.

Chris ended up playing it off as a start to a redemption arc and he overheard the host talking to the producers about pushing that angle more next season. A ridiculous idea, but not one he would fight since those type of partially scripted ‘story-arcs’ tended to put said heroes into the top 3. All they needed was a villain which, unless they brought back Scarlet or Mal rose from the mental dead, was unlikely to be threatening enough to serve as an antagonist worth fighting for the ex-Arch Villain.

He made his way to the large balcony to step outside into the cool night air, his skin practically sizzling from his overheated flesh contacting the cold wind. “It’s an unbelievable story...me? Redeemed? Hah.” He spoke to himself, leaning on the balcony railing, looking over the rest of the resort. The thought had made him feel oddly bitter.

Alejandro paused mentally at that. ‘Bitter? Why? I’m a bad person, always have been, always will be.’ He vaguely imaged Noah standing beside him, looking impassive but also with a hint of sadness in his eyes, chastising him. ‘You’re not as evil as you think you are. You at least acknowledge your potential cruelty and how wrong you were in the past to treat people like that. Now, you just need to work on being kinder to others with no thoughts of personal gain, and honestly? You’ve already started doing that.’

Alejandro huffed and smiled to himself. Even in his thoughts, Noah was right. “Cerebrito... marsopa cerebral.” He mumbled fondly.

He decided to go out and stretch his limbs to get his mind off the recent nightmare. They had been more frequent before, hence his depression and desperation, but they have slowed down over the past few weeks. 

‘Still, these dreams are horrible reminders.’ Alejandro shuddered at the final wisps of memory, the fire curling around him in a sea of red hot pain. 

Alejandro threw on a pair of sweatpants and running shoes, and, not even bothering with a shirt, walked out of his resort room. He quietly jogged outside, mindful of the likely sleeping other contestants, and made his way to the Field. 

\---------------------

Unlike the pool, bar, beach and the resort itself; the Field was a bright green, grass-covered zone that consisted of a few soccer nets, a ring of rubber-lined running track, racks of outdoors sports equipment, the materials to set up mock challenges for  practice and plenty of green space for picnics or other such pursuits. He heard that a few of the more artistic campers liked to use the space for painting or drawing on warm days. Overall, the area was a training ground to keep their skills up in the off seasons or in-betweens. 

He decided a few laps around the track would fully clear his mind, and if not he could go and jump in the pool for a few laps as well. Alejandro walked over to the yellow line indicating a start on the track and dropped into a professional running position. He counted down slowly in his head before bolting off at the imagined sound of a gunshot. In a few minutes he had completed 3 laps, working at an 8-minute mile, letting the air whip past him, his hair flying backwards. He felt a sense of relief and made the choice to just keep running without much thought.

He went into a sort of zen, his body working on autopilot as he quickly made short work of 2 miles worth of laps and by the time he completed his 20th lap, he finally felt himself click back into conscious reality. His legs burned with lactic acid, his body having run out of stored oxygen, and light beads of sweat dripped down his hot body. He felt good.

“Well, that was quite the show.” A deadpan and nasally voice pipped up from behind him.

Alejandro jumped in his skin before whipping around to face whoever snuck up on him. There, sitting at the second to last row of one of the bleachers by the track, sat Noah. His legs were propped up on the bottom row, his back leaning against the third, and he was casually reading a book. Though his face was in said book, his eyes were directly focused on Alejandro.

“Noah...Dios Mio, you startled me..”Alejandro panted, whether by the exertion or by the sudden fright he wasn’t sure. “What are you...doing out here?”

Noah peered at Alejandro from the darkness, the only illumination on the whole field coming from a few stadium lights shining directly onto the track itself. “I could ask you the same. You..have an interesting habit of wandering out at night.”

Alejandro paused for a moment before realizing what he was getting at. He chuckled. “I suppose I do, though this time I was just unable to sleep. Tel desvelo mucho.”

Noah closed the book he had in his hand and got off the bleachers. He walked up to the taller male, giving him a critical look all the way. “Hm..I suppose you haven’t tried anything too crazy for awhile.” As he stood a few steps away, his stern face slowly morphed into an amused smirk. “Though going a whole season being nice to people was pretty close.”

The Spanish teen threw back his head and let out a hearty laugh. “Aha ha, si, yes I suppose it was.”

Noah looked up at Alejandro, their eyes meeting. “I was meaning to ask about that, though. Not to assume, but I’m guessing that night at the docks changed you strategy.”

Alejandro shrugged. “It wasn’t entirely that, but after that night I realized that I might have had more stress built up in me then I had originally thought. I decided that it would be best to just play fair this season and not worry about winning.” He found it easy to talk to the smaller teen, his soul easy to bare. He vaguely wondered why it was like that.

“Probably a good idea. You look much better.” Noah noted, looking close at his eyes. “Though you definitely need more sleep, you’ve got the start of some rings around your eyes.”

Alejandro reached a hand up, before putting it back down, it was futile to try and feel them. He’s have to check his face later for the obvious marks. “Hm, well I’ve done some exercise to try and wear myself out. Perhaps you will join me for some herbal tea?” He worried that he might have sounded a little to hopeful at the offer, he really need to self-exam as to why he was starting to latch on to the shorter teen. ‘Maybe I need to make some more friends. I think I’m getting too lonely.’

Noah shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I’m not one for chamomile, but I’ll indulge in some chai with you.” He turned his body, walking back towards the resort. He looked over his shoulder with a slightly mischievous smile. “I’m sure we can take over the lounge since it’s like 3am.”

Alejandro blinked before grinning. The lounge would be a perfect spot to chat.

\-----------------

Alejandro slid into the plush booth seat, sitting next to a window looking out at the beach and ocean. His dark thoughts, though they were lessened nowadays, did creep back in upon the sight of the blackened calm waters. A sudden ‘floosh’ and orange glowing light interrupted this and he managed to shake them off. He turned his head to see Noah turning on the fireplace, clearly not wanting to turn all the florescent lights on.

“Do you need assistance, mi amigo?” He asked the shorter teen, who looked up from the fireplace. “Nah, I got it.” Noah waved him off, quickly jogging over to the coffee counter and loading up two of the capsule makers.

Alejandro didn’t dare look back at the water, not wanting anymore of those thoughts tonight, instead he stared at the fire. The bouncing orange flames tickled the steel gate, blocking the embers from shooting out and setting the plush faux-bear skin rug on fire. ‘Hopefully I never end up inside those flames again.’ He thought to himself, pushing away the memories of the pain.

He heard a ‘clink’ as two mugs were set on the table, one in front of him. Noah sat on the other side, nestling a warm cup of what clearly smelt like chai in his hands. Alejandro looked at his own cup, smelling a hint of honey-like sweetness mixed with a flowery scent.

“Ah, I guess you were quite serious about what you were serving us.”

Noah shrugged and took a careful sip of his tea. “Hey, you didn’t say no.”

Alejandro smiled, a familiar warmth blooming in his chest. How it was familiar, he didn’t remember, but it felt good so he didn’t pay it much attention. He decided that it was best to just go along with this moment and he plucked the warm mug off the table and pressed the rim to his lips. A breath on the liquid stopped it from scalding, but it was hot. The taste was mild and mostly floral, but it was quite nice after a hard run and lack of sleep.

“So, think you’ll be alright?” Noah asked casually, as if he had already read his very soul.

Alejandro really didn’t have much of a response other then a light ‘Mm.’. He knew he still had issues to work through, his past still beating at his sanity.

“I think you’re doing okay. Not sleeping is way better then trying to lay on the ocean floor just to avoid reality. I just want you to know that I’m happy that you’re working towards getting to a better place.” Noah breathed out quickly, he looked somewhat worried and nervous compared to earlier where it looked like he had all the answers.

“I..thank you.” Alejandro managed. He felt a sting of guilt at Noah’s clear anxiety. “I’m sorry for scaring you, I guess that night affected you harder then I expected.”

Noah looked out the window, nodding at the words. “Seeing someone nearly kill themselves, on purpose or accidentally, puts you in a rough place…”

Though the words felt bitter, he had to say them for the sake of the boy in front of him. “You don’t have to do anything. You can just ignore me and live your life without guilt. Nothing about my situation is your fault or your prerogative. No one would blame you for not caring, most of all me.”

Noah slammed his cup on the table. “I’m not abandoning you!” His teeth clenched into a snarl before forcefully relaxing himself. “I refuse to let you go through this alone. I don’t think you can handle your issues by yourself without being able to vent to someone who will listen and care.”

“But-”

“No buts! This is my choice.” Noah took another sip of his tea. “Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.”

Alejandro remained silent, his eyes downcast and staring at the smoking liquid swirling in his cup. He supposed Noah was right, it was his choice to help, but it didn’t clear away the guilt of putting Noah’s own mental well-being at risk. He had already caused enough damage by jumping in front of him.

The boys remained silent, sipping at their tea and quietly enjoy each other’s company. The fireplace blazed on, warming the room and casting a gentle cozy light upon everything. The warm tea and hot fireplace eventually fogged up the window, cutting out some of the darkness of the room.

“I’ve been having nightmares.”

Noah looked up, but didn’t say a word.

“They’ve been mostly memories of the ending of World Tour. When I was burned by the lava.” Alejandro sighed. “They’ve been memories of the pain and terror I felt, it was the closest I’ve ever been to death.”

“Think you’re suffering from PTSD?” Noah commented, leaning forward, but not pushing.

“I think so. Every time I have these nightmares, I’m reminded of all my mistakes and failures and I have a craving to wrap myself in darkness. Ever since we had our talk, I’ve been resisting those urges and I try to do something else. Thankfully, the nightmares are reducing in frequency, but I still have them at least once or twice a week.”

Noah nodded, smiling lightly. “Honestly? That’s great news! You’ve been working through and finding healthier coping methods to combat those nightmares.”

Alejandro sighed. “I suppose, but I do feel like I’m walking backwards every time I have one. I worry that I’ll relapse into foolish behavior.”

“I think you’re being hard on yourself. Having all that trauma is a lot to deal with and you’ve been doing a hell of a lot better then many people.” Noah reached out to grasp a large hand into his own. “You just need to reach out more.”

Alejandro felt a slight heat rise to his face at the gesture. His skin tone hid the display, thankfully, but it was unusual that someone like Noah could draw such a reaction out of him. “I-I’ll try. Lo  siento, gracias. ”

\-------------------------

Alejandro groaned as he felt himself awaken, lying on the plush diner-like booth. Confused, he popped his head up over the table, seeing Noah and Owen sitting on the opposite booth quietly chatting.

“Oh hey Al! You’re up!” Owen chirped, way too chipper for it being so early.

Alejandro resisted a shudder at the nickname and pulled himself into a seating position. “Que..por que?” He blurted out in a half-asleep state.

“You fell asleep after finishing your tea. It’s about 7:30ish.” Noah stated with a smirk. “Your hair looks amazing by the way.”

Alejandro lifted his hand to his hair, noting that it was sticking out at odd angles and needed a good brushing. “Ah..yes. That damn tea..” He shook his head as he heard Owen giggle at the remark.

“Well, I suppose now that you’re awake we can go get breakfast.” Noah said, causing Owen to immediately pop out of his seat.

“Oh, yeah! They’ve got fresh galas and pancakes on the menu today! Whooo!” Owen cheered, grabbing his little buddy out of his seat. “Hey Al, you should come with!”

Alejandro looked at both teens, Owen giving him a thumbs up and Noah attempting to casually look at him. He looked relieved to see him having a decent sleep, and he himself felt better for it as well. “Eh, why not?” A fresh apple did sound nice. 

Owen cheered and carried an unresistant Noah out the door with him, he slowly walked after. That warm feeling in his chest returned, and now he remembered why it was familiar. In the haze of semi-exhaustion and depressive thoughts, he had forgotten when he first felt this. When he had first seen Heather outsmart him and turn her near loss into a win at the perfect moment. Her competitive and challenging eyes had struck him like an arrow with a bolt of pure fire in his chest. It was when he truly knew what love was, and now he felt it with Noah.

“...Fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or a kudos if you are enjoying this series!


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